Learn 8 proven steps to build a positive attitude, inspired by Shiv Khera’s You Can Win, for confidence, resilience, and lasting success in life.”
🌟 Step 1: Change Focus – Look for the Positive
✨ Look for the Good
Every situation has two sides. Some people see problems, others see possibilities. Imagine a student failing an exam—one says, “I’m useless,” while another says, “Now I know where to improve.” Winners always train themselves to look for the good, even in setbacks.
⚡ The Habit of Negativity
There are people who complain no matter what. If the sun shines, they say it’s too hot; if it rains, they say it’s too wet. This constant fault-finding drains energy and keeps them stuck. Negativity becomes a habit, and habits shape destiny.
🌑 Pessimists
Pessimists expect the worst in every situation. They magnify problems and minimize opportunities. Offered a new job, they worry about risks instead of growth. Their “it won’t work” mindset blocks progress and creates a cycle of failure.
🌞 Optimists
Optimists see challenges as stepping stones. They believe difficulties are temporary and solutions are possible. Think of Thomas Edison—he failed thousands of times before inventing the light bulb, yet said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” That’s optimism in action.
🌈 Choose Optimism
Optimism is not ignoring reality—it’s choosing to focus on possibilities. Life has ups and downs, but an optimist says, “This too shall pass.” By changing focus, you build resilience, attract opportunities, and inspire others. Winners are not born; they are made by their attitude.
🌟 Step 2 – Make a Habit of Doing It Now
Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, “Most people go to their funeral, with music still in them.” 🎶
This powerful line reminds us that many dreams remain unfulfilled simply because people keep waiting for the “right time.” Excellence is lost not due to lack of talent, but because of lack of vision and action.
✅ The Energy of Completion
- A completed task is fulfilling and energising.
- An incomplete task drains energy and leaves us restless.
- If you want to build a positive attitude, live in the present and make a habit of doing it now.
👦 The “When I Become Big” Trap
Think of a little boy who says, “When I grow up, I’ll be happy.”
Later, as a young man, he says, “I’ll be happy after college.” Then it becomes, “I’ll be happy after I get a job… after marriage… after kids… after their school.” This chain reaction continues until one day he realises life has passed by. Happiness was always postponed, and it’s too late.
🌀 Paralysis by Analysis
Many people hide procrastination behind fancy words like “I am analysing.”
Months or even years later, they are still analysing. This endless cycle is called Paralysis by Analysis. It prevents action and guarantees failure. Similarly, some people spend their whole lives “getting ready” but never actually start.
🤔 Why Do People Procrastinate?
- The root cause is often an escapist attitude—avoiding reality instead of facing it.
- Modern procrastination takes many forms: binge‑watching, alcohol, endless video games, or wasting time with negative influences.
- These distractions feel easy in the moment but steal away progress and purpose.
🌈 The Solution: Live in the Present
Life is a one‑time game 🎯. The stakes are too high to lose by waiting.
When we utilise the present fully, we sow seeds for a better future. Winners learn the phrase “Do it now.” Even David Goggins, once a procrastinator, changed his attitude—and the rest is history.
Remember: some people wait for all the traffic lights to turn green before leaving home. That will never happen. There is no perfect situation to start. The right time is today. It’s all a matter of mind.
🌟 Step 3 – Develop an Attitude of Gratitude
Gratitude is more than just saying “thank you.” It reflects humility and keeps a person grounded 🌱. When we practice gratitude, we acknowledge the role others play in our journey and remind ourselves that success is never achieved alone.
🙏 The Spirit of Gratitude
- Never forget what others have done for you. Their support, guidance, or even small acts of kindness shape your life.
- Never remember what you have done for others. True gratitude is selfless—it doesn’t keep score.
- Count your blessings, not your troubles. This doesn’t mean becoming complacent. Many blessings are hidden treasures waiting to be appreciated.
⚖️ Gratitude vs. Servile Behavior
Gratitude is voluntary and empowering. It acknowledges kindness without diminishing self‑worth. Servile behavior, on the other hand, stems from fear or dependency—where one excessively pleases others to gain favor or avoid conflict.
✨ Key Difference: Gratitude uplifts both giver and receiver, while servility erodes confidence and creates imbalance in relationships.
🌈 Simple Ways to Develop Gratitude
- Start a Gratitude Journal 📖 – Write down three things you’re thankful for daily.
- Express Appreciation 💬 – Tell people you value them; small words can make a big impact.
- Reframe Challenges 🔄 – See difficulties as opportunities for growth instead of obstacles.
- Practice Mindfulness 🌸 – Notice small joys in everyday life, like a smile, a meal, or nature’s beauty.
👉 Gratitude is a choice. It shifts focus from what’s missing to what’s already present. By developing this attitude, you not only strengthen relationships but also create a mindset that attracts positivity and success.
Step 4: Get into a continuous Education Program
🌱 What is the Real Meaning of Education?
Education is not confined to reading, writing, and arithmetic. True education shapes our character, attitude, and ability to make wise decisions. It is a lifelong process that goes beyond classrooms and textbooks.
✨ As Albert Einstein said:
“Education is not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think.”
⚖️ Education Without Values
Imagine two doctors:
- 👨⚕️ One highly skilled but characterless
- 👩⚕️ Another less experienced yet full of empathy and courtesy
Who would you trust with your life? Skills without values can be dangerous.
- 📖 Knowledge is just piling up facts
- 🧠 Wisdom is simplifying them
- ⚡ Knowledge becomes power only when acted upon
- 🔑 Wisdom is the real power
💡 The 6 C of a Successful Person
To live meaningfully, education must nurture these six pillars:
- 🛡️ Character – The foundation of trust
- 🎯 Commitment – Staying true to your goals
- 🌍 Conviction – Believing in your principles
- 🦁 Courage – Facing challenges fearlessly
- 🤝 Courtesy – Respecting others
- 🏆 Competence – Mastering your craft
🧩 Common Sense and Feeding Our Mind
Common sense is often called the “seventh sense” because it guides practical decisions.
- 📚 Feed your mind with positive thoughts, books, and experiences
- 🌍 Just like a passport is a prerequisite to travel the world, a good education is a prerequisite to live a meaningful life
🌟 Real-Life Examples
- ✊ Mahatma Gandhi – His wisdom and character changed the world, not just his academic knowledge
- 🚀 Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam – Combined technical brilliance with humility and vision, inspiring millions
- 🧠 “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” – Socrates
- 💰 “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.” – Benjamin Franklin
- 🌍 “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” – Nelson Mandela
STEP 5 :🌟 Building High Self-Esteem
💎 Why Self-Esteem Matters
High self-esteem is the foundation of confidence, resilience, and positive character. It influences how we:
- 💪 Handle challenges
- 🤝 Build relationships
- 🎯 Pursue goals
✨ As Eleanor Roosevelt said:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
🛠️ How to Build High Self-Esteem
Boosting self-esteem is a daily practice. Here are proven techniques:
- 💖 Self-compassion – Be kind to yourself in failures and setbacks
- 🗣️ Positive affirmations – Speak empowering words to rewire your mindset
- 🎉 Celebrate small wins – Every achievement counts toward confidence
- 🙅 Avoid comparisons – Focus on your journey, not others
- 🙏 Practice gratitude – Daily reflection builds positivity
⚡ Quick booster: Do something for those who cannot repay you in cash or kind. Volunteering or helping someone in need triggers a sense of purpose and activates the brain’s reward system, improving self-worth.
📈 Daily Habits That StrengtheN SELF-ESTEEM
- ✅ Finish what you start – Completing tasks consistently reinforces belief in your abilities
- 🕒 Set daily targets – Achieving small goals builds momentum
- 🏠 Practical example: Volunteering at a local shelter or mentoring underprivileged students not only helps others but strengthens your own confidence
“Self-worth comes from one thing—thinking that you are worthy.” – Wayne Dyer
STEP 6: Stay away from Negative Influences
🌟 Stay Away from Negative Influences to Build a Positive Attitude
🚫 Negative Influences to Avoid
Negative influences like smoking 🚬, drugs 💊, alcohol 🍺, profanity 🤬, obscene music 🎶, and toxic movies 🎥 may seem harmless at first, but they gradually shape your mindset and behavior.
- ⚠️ What starts as casual exposure can turn into a daily habit, pulling you into a cycle of negativity.
- 🧍 For example, a young person who begins drinking socially may later struggle with addiction, affecting health and relationships.
- 💔 Similarly, the porn industry commercializes lust, promoting unrealistic expectations and addiction, leading to broken families and mental health issues.
💡 Why It Matters
Your attitude determines your success and happiness. Surrounding yourself with negativity clouds judgment ☁️ and kills motivation ❌.
✨ As Zig Ziglar said:
“You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure.”
✅ Steps to Stay Away from Negativity
- 👯 Choose positive friends and uplifting media
- 🏃 Engage in hobbies, fitness, and learning
- 🧘 Practice mindfulness and gratitude
- 🎯 Set clear goals and finish what you start
🌞 The Power of Positive Choices
A positive attitude is built by conscious choices. Stay away from negativity, and you’ll create a life full of purpose 🌍 and peace 🕊️.
✨ STEP 7: Learn to Like the Things That Need to Be Done
🌱 Start Small, Grow Big
- “Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” — St. Francis of Assisi
- Every great achievement begins with small, consistent steps. When you embrace the tasks that feel ordinary, they eventually lead to extraordinary outcomes.
🏏 Inspiration from Yuvraj Singh
- Did Yuvraj Singh always enjoy going to practice? Probably not. But he showed up, day after day.
- His persistence and discipline helped him achieve milestones that are now etched in the history of cricket.
- The lesson: liking the process is just as important as loving the results.
💪 Persistence Over Pleasure
- Persistence may not always be fun and can even feel painful.
- But when we learn to like the task itself, the impossible slowly becomes possible.
- Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.
🌟 Practical Ways to Learn to Like the Necessary
- 🎯 Shift your mindset: Instead of saying “I have to do this,” say “I get to do this.”
- 🕒 Break tasks into smaller chunks: Small wins build momentum.
- 🎶 Add joy to routine: Play music, reward yourself, or gamify the task.
- 📈 Focus on progress, not perfection: Celebrate consistency over flawless execution.
- 🧘 Practice mindfulness: Being present makes even repetitive tasks meaningful.
🚀 The Bigger Picture
- Tasks we resist often carry the seeds of growth.
- By learning to like them, we unlock resilience, discipline, and creativity.
🌞 STEP 8: Start Your Day with Something Positive
🌸 Why Positivity Matters in the Morning
- The way you begin your day sets the tone for everything that follows.
- A positive start fuels motivation, reduces stress, and helps you face challenges with resilience.
- Think of mornings as a fresh canvas—you decide the colors you paint with.
🌅 Simple Ways to Begin Positively
- 🙏 Practice Gratitude: Write down 3 things you’re thankful for.
- 📖 Read or Listen to Inspiration: A motivational quote, a short podcast, or a spiritual verse.
- 🧘 Meditate or Breathe: Just 5 minutes of calm breathing can reset your mind.
- 🏃 Move Your Body: Stretch, walk, or exercise to energize yourself.
- 🎶 Play Uplifting Music: Songs that make you smile instantly boost your mood.
- ✍️ Set an Intention: Decide one positive thing you want to focus on today.
🌟 Real-Life Example
- Many successful people—from athletes to entrepreneurs—swear by morning rituals.
- For instance, Virat Kohli often begins his day with fitness and mindfulness, which keeps him sharp both on and off the field.
🚀 The Ripple Effect
- Starting your day positively doesn’t just benefit you—it impacts everyone you interact with.
A smile, kind word, or calm presence can inspire positivity in others too.